Still Here

I didn't realize how much I would like this blog until six months or so went by without me writing anything and then I came back to read some of the posts.  It's amazing how many little details of a day can be so easily forgotten, if they are not recorded.   So, I'm going to try to get back to writing every day again, even if a chunk of 2010 is missing.

I spoke, in one of my last posts, about Sam going to the super awesome private school, but that it would be expensive and hard to get into.  Well, he did get in and started this Fall.  It has been an amazing experience and the changes that we are seeing give us so much hope!  He isn't perfect there, which is actually reassuring!  And it is nice to work with teachers who are open and honest about his progress.  There are no hidden agenda's, there is no double talk, it is simply a program who wants the best for  Sam-just like me.  We work together, have rewards set up at home and at school and it is working! He loves getting his "Wow" tickets, both at home and school!

Today is a Sunday and it was a crazy morning trying to get to church on time.  You would think that I would learn that life runs at a different pace with Sam!  But I often need reminders.  So, as I hurried through our schedule of getting kids bathed, dinner in the crockpot, snacks and activities packed, clothes found, last minute items tossed in the dryer and enough shoes for everyone's feet scrounged up, I felt like I was pulling teeth in trying to get Sam to listen.  Everything became a meltdown, and in looking back, I think most of it was the way I was talking to him.  I was hurried and rushed and exasperated and those emotions don't do well for him!

Finally, as it was time to walk out the door, he was in a heap on the floor in tears.  He had pants on (backwards) and nothing else.  I sent John to church with everyone else and I sat down to take a deep breath.  I waited for him to calm down and then told him we could walk to church when he was ready.  Well, Sam is a boy who loves walks! He lives for walks!  So, as I waited patiently, he got ready and we headed out.  I knew I was already late and part of me wanted to hurry him along, but I knew better.  So, we took our time, we walked slowly-taking everything in.  He had to stop and look at every roly poly and walk on the rocks in different yards we passed.  My frustration was gone, and I let myself just enjoy our time together.  We were halfway there, when he decided to veer off the path, towards the canal that runs through our neighborhood.  I called to him, but then followed.  He had been drawn to a yellow sunflower that he picked and handed to me.  It was so sweet and such a reminder to me how beautiful life with him is.  His pace is different than most and he sees things in a completely different way, and I love it!  I love what he teaches me each day!

We did eventually make it to church about 25 minutes late, but he was calm and happy when we got there.  It was such a stark contrast to a Sunday, several months ago when I forced my schedule on him. We ended up in the foyer, in the middle of a HUGE meltdown, when he decided to pee on me.  Little by little, I am learning to not push, to not pull, but to just follow along!